new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
