um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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