We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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