so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
