I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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