She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize