I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
