I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
