What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
