I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
