do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
