i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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