Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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