just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Randomize
