"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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