What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My feet surprised me
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
