I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
