i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
