Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm just crazy horny about you
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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