Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it glows. i had to have it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
