butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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