She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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