if i can run in heels then i can drive
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
there is glitter all over my balls
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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