covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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