i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i think i have two assholes
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize