I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I cut my penus on the lid.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
