Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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