Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
