We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
