you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I party with great urgency now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
