Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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