Even the bartender felt bad for me
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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