She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
