No stitches, just platelets and will power
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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