my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize