At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
