Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
