next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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