bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
