I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
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