Whod you bang
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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