Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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