I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
