oh god the rape fog is back!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I need a hoe opinion
go on
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
