If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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