you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
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So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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