pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
