my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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