if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
