Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
