idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
