so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
