NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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