Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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