the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
