Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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