Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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