Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
