Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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