Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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