We're facebook friends in real life
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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