The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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