I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She's the barista slut.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
