We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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